


Confounding Their Enemies And Delighting Their Friends

by MewWitch



Series: ColdFlashWeek 2017 B [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Accidental Myth creation, Barry and Len's Excellent Honeymoon Adventure, Barry to the Rescue!, Don't worry, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Impersonating a Deity, Implied Sexual Content, Implied sexy times, In which Len almost dies because of something he stole, Lin-Manuel Miranda Appreciation, M/M, Time Travel Shenanigans, Would it kill you to stop stealing things Len?, coldflashweek 2017, mythology AU, week b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 16:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12279924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MewWitch/pseuds/MewWitch
Summary: The former Time Master narrowed his eyes at the exchange. “So you lot are responsible.”The oldest crew member tried to come to their defense. “Honestly Mr. Hunter, what where you expecting? You invited Mr. Allen and his husband aboard as a belated wedding gift when you know very well that either one of them is capable of changing the timeline on their own. Why, you where the one to provide them with a jump-ship before set them loose in history!”“That jump-ship was programmed to only travel to points where events are always in flux, and thus cannot affect the overall timeline, regardless of what occurs in them.”Mick let out a bark of laughter. “It took the kid under an hour to get past your security on that ship, and Snart was watching him every step of the way. Bet you $10 he got by in under a third of that.”No one was willing to take him up on it._____ColdFlashWeek2017 Week B-Day Three: Mythology AU





	Confounding Their Enemies And Delighting Their Friends

“Does anyone want to explain to me why there is now a third body of work attributed to Homer when this morning there was only two?!”

Rip Hunter eyed each of the supposed adults before him. All but two of those on board were assembled in his study.

“Homer? The Greek poet who wrote the Iliad and the Odyssey? What about him?” Genius he may be, but Ray Palmer still had a lot to learn about keeping secrets.

Hunter continued his angry pacing in front of his desk. “Well, _apparently_ he has now written a third Epic. This one about the Greek god Hermes and the mortal thief he takes as his lover. Who he apparently rescues from the brink of death in a feat of great power and _speed_.”

Mick rolled his eyes as he took another swig of his drink. “Don’t see what the big deal is. Not like there aren’t already a million other stories about gods out there in the world. So what if there’s one more.”

“Gideon. Please educate everyone on why Mr. Rory’s statement is incorrect.”

**“According to my most recent search of the timeline, the work Thief of the Gates is considered one of the greatest love stories of all time. It is held on the same level as Romeo and Juliet. It has been adapted into numerous stage plays, films, and other media. The most famous by your time period would be the silent film of the same name starring Rudolph Valentino. The film is eventually surpassed in popularity by the Broadway musical _Scarlet_.”**

“Scarlet?”

**“One of the source material’s most popular passages includes the detailed description of the red chiton worn by the God during his first meeting with the thief and how the thief manages to steal it right off of him.”**

“Not like he was protesting much-OW!” Jax was cut off by Sara’s elbow jamming into his gut.

The former Time Master narrowed his eyes at the exchange. “So you lot _are_ responsible.”

The oldest crew member tried to come to their defense. “Honestly Mr. Hunter, what where you expecting? You invited Mr. Allen and his husband aboard as a belated wedding gift when you know very well that either one of them is capable of changing the timeline on their own. Why, you where the one to provide them with a jump-ship before set them loose in history!”

“That jump-ship was programmed to only travel to points where events are always in flux, and thus cannot affect the overall timeline, regardless of what occurs in them.”

Mick let out a bark of laughter. “It took the kid under an hour to get past your security on that ship, and Snart was watching him every step of the way. Bet you $10 he got by in under a third of that.”

No one was willing to take him up on it.

Rip slammed his hands down on his desk in frustration. “Regardless of whose fault it is or how it happened, the fact remains that there is a time aberration that needs correcting!” “We don’t have to do it know, do we? I thought we agreed no missions until after newlyweds have finished their honeymoon?”

He shook his head. “No, if we wait too long we risk the change becoming permanent.”

“Still gives us a few days before we have to take any action.” Mick merely raised an eyebrow at Rip’s glare. “Yeah, I haven’t forgotten everything I learned from your old bosses.”

The others perked up hearing that. Some, like Amaya and Martin wanted to read the tale, while the rest were more interested in marathoning some of the film adaptations. Though all those plans were derailed once it was discovered that the Broadway production was made by the same playwright behind _Hamilton_.

“Oooh! We’ve got to see that!” Nate was practically bounding in place, the historian barely able to contain his excitement. The rest of the Legends (bar Mick, Stein and Rip himself) had begun a rather unsettling chant of the actor’s name. “Gideon, do you have footage of it on file?”

_“Lin-Manuel Miranda! Lin-Manuel Miranda! Lin-Manuel Miranda!”_

**“I certainly do, Mr. Heywood. Though might I recommend waiting to view it at a time when everyone is present?”**

_“Lin-Manuel Miranda! Lin-Manuel Miranda! Lin-Manuel Miranda!”_

“Ah, yes. Where exactly are Mr. Snart and Mr. Allen?” Rip ignored the group chanting in the background as it broke off into a round of snickers.

“Both should be in Mr. Snart’s room.” Stein finally admitted.

“If they even made it that far.” More cackles from the crew while Jax received a high-five from Sara for the innuendo. “Yeah, Snart seemed _real_ eager to give his ‘Godly savior’ a reward.”

* * *

Rip retreated to his quarters for the rest of the day. Maybe if he helped himself to some of his personally stash, the rest of the ‘Honeymoon’ would be easier to tolerate.

* * *

Barry sighed contently as he lay listening to Len’s heartbeat. His husband (HUSBAND! He still was getting used to using the term) continued to lazily stroke the curve of his spine.

“That was great.”

“I’ll admit, the sight of you all rage and fury was certainly something to behold. I wouldn’t mind getting rescued more often.”

“I was talking about-oh never mind.” He knew Len was teasing.

While he would prefer not to have to worry about him getting into dangerous situations, it would be like asking a bird not sing. Or in this particular case, asking a thief not to steal sacred artifacts from temples, get caught and then promptly sentenced to death. At least the whole public execution thing gave him the time to gather up the rest of the Legends and think up a rescue plan. Surprisingly, Gideon had been the one to suggest that he masquerade as the God of Thieves. She had gone so far as to fabricate a bucket helmet similar to Jay Garrick alongside the winged sandals and scarlet red chiton for him to wear to help pull off the charade.

He wondered if Rip knew just how devious the AI truly was.

Regardless, everyone was safe and sound with their heads still attached, smart mouths and all.

Mmm…good thing too. Barry liked that mouth and the things Len could do with it. Actually, now that he thought about it…

Barry repositioned himself so he could kiss his husband. “What do you say to a round two before we go out and face the music?”

“It’s more like round four at this point, hon.” Len flipped them over so that their positions were reversed. “But who am I to refuse the will of the Gods?”

Barry burst into laughter. “Oh please tell me you’ll let that go soon!”

“If that is what my Lord Hermes wishes.” He began kissing his way down the speedster’s chest.

“Why did I marry you again?”

Len’s eyes darted back up to the other’s face. “Well, I’m pretty sure _this_ had something to do with convincing you.”

What did he?

“OH!” Barry yelped as Len set about making his point.

* * *

The pair never got around to seeing the musical before it was erased.

Pity. They songs were pretty catchy.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is a few days late. My college has weird start/stop times, and this week just happened to fall at the same time as my Final Project. It's worth 40% of my grade and I really, really, really needed to do good.
> 
> *Title part of a quote from the Odyssey  
> -“There is nothing more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.” 
> 
> A close second was "the gods don't hand out all their gifts at once"


End file.
